The government launched a ‘no-when-no-negative-gear un’ in a desperate bid to negotiate a take-up among boomers.

The Morrison government has announced a new policy requiring many elderly people in Australia to be vaccinated before they write off their investment assets.

The policy is expected to increase the vaccine to 100%.

Health expert Riley Dimitreau said that if there was one thing that older Australians feared more than the estrogen vaccine, it was the loss of middle-class welfare. “We are convinced that any complaints about ‘personal freedom’ or ‘I need more data before I’m convinced’ will be immediately destroyed when people feel their tax breaks are at risk.”

Investment 0-year-old Barbara Henningwe, who owns three investment properties and claimed last week that she was not ‘worried about an autism contract’, says she is now completely comfortable getting a job. “I was very worried about it. But I heard that I might be forced to pay a fair tax rate and suddenly I saw queuing for vaccinations. Science is very clear on this stuff. I’m not sure what went wrong.

Vaccine centers – especially in the eastern suburbs of Sydney and Melbourne – have been in demand since the policy was announced this morning.

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