Good friends are good for you
“Bring many colors of happiness into your life by good friends Reduce stress, Comforting, and relieving loneliness, ”says Amber O’Brien, a psychologist at the Mango Clinic in Miami.
Where to make new friends
Mahesh Grossman, a 2-year-old hypnotherapist and owner of Berkeley Hypnosis in Berkeley, CA, has made many friends over the years by joining the leadership of friends. Meditation Groups, 12-step groups, and church groups.
“Everyone goes out to dinner after the meeting. I know them a little at the restaurant. Then I try to have a one-on-one meal with several members within the first few months,” says Grossman. “It ultimately leads to friendship with those people and more comfort overall.”
You can find new friends when:
Join a group or club. Find a local group where people like you meet regularly. A book club, religious group, parent meeting, Music Group, or bike group. “The key is fishing in the right pond,” says Grossman.
Take a class. Sign up for classes at your local college, senior center, or gym. Learn Italian, dance, or a new card game. When the title is of interest to you, you will find people who share your passion.
View locally You will be amazed at how many things are happening in your community. Look at your local newspaper or community bulletin boards. Go online for a quick list. Search for your city name plus the words “social network” or “meetups”.
Volunteer People who work together often make strong connections. Meet people voluntarily at community centers, charitable groups, hospitals, museums, or places of worship.
Join a social circle. One of the easiest ways to meet people is to surround yourself with large groups of friends, says O’Brien. “You already have people in your life who have a lot of friends,” she says. Join them when they invite you. Ask for an introduction. Take the first step and start a conversation with someone new.
Making friends online
It can be easy to make friends online because you can meet people with similar interests around the world. If you are an introvert, online friendships can feel more comfortable.
But if you live in a different area, you can’t easily meet or hang out in person. And online friendships can be unbalanced, where one person has more emotional involvement than the other.
“Making new friends online is fun and exciting, but it can be challenging,” says O’Brien. Try to set healthy boundaries to avoid problems.
How to start a friendship
Friendship takes time, but you can save a connection to spark a relationship and take action.
Say yes When you are invited to a meeting or event, accept the invitation. Invite them somewhere and return the favor. Expand your own invitation and ask a friend or acquaintance for coffee or lunch.
Take the initiative. “You don’t have to wait for anyone to arrive and take the first step. Instead, be a kind initiative, even if you are an introvert, “says O’Brien.
Start a conversation. To get to know you better when you are with someone, start a conversation. “Share something about yourself,” says O’Brien. “Likewise, let them share themselves.”
Show interest. Even if you just met someone, you can make them feel comfortable by asking the right questions and being a good listener. Ask open-ended questions. Encourage them to open up by saying, “Tell me more.”
Laughter Make eye contact and smile. “Smiling with good eye contact has a positive effect on another person,” says O’Brien. They will feel more comfortable and interested in the conversation.
Share When you get to know each other, try to share small but more personal things about yourself. “If you’re open with them, it allows you to be open with them,” says Grossman. “But don’t go on the ship. Take it one step at a time.”
Take a small side. Small acts of kindness often lead to intimacy and relationships. It should not be large or obvious; A small gesture produces a good vibration.
Keep it up. When you meet someone, exchange numbers. Call or text them. Ask if they want to be reunited. “It’s important to stay in touch,” says O’Brien.
What not to do
Ignore these simple missteps:
Don’t change who you are. Don’t make a difference to fit. “Always be yourself, be true and honest,” says O’Brien.
Don’t be arrogant. Pride has a negative effect on people and can lead to turnover.
Don’t be too aggressive. When a person becomes very strong, he can stay away. Facilitate a friendly conversation before you meet for coffee or a run.
Don’t expect immediate results. “It takes time to build a strong relationship between two people,” says O’Brien. “Do your best, but keep your expectations low.” Research suggests it can take 10 to 15 conversations to feel like peers.
How to know when you are friends
Signs of a new friendship include:
- Another person takes the initiative and calls or sends you a message.
- You feel comfortable and natural with them.
- You do not hesitate to share or do anything in front of them.
- You answer them sympathetically, and they do the same to you.
“First, there are situations where they do something to value your connection. They start texting you or inviting you to do something,” says Grossman. Eventually, you become “out friends.” Yes and feel like true friends.